a girls best friend

A girl’s best friend

Like a man adores his cars, having to always pimp it up just to make it look good, ladies love to look good and they always pimping themselves up, with shoes!

A girls obsession with shoes is hard for a guy to understand, its seen as unnecessary spending of money. Shoes are an investment and it seems that men will never know or understand why, and women will never understand why men can sit the whole day doing nothing but playing video games or buying expensive rims for a car.

With that said and done I can continue on to the main subject. As much as every lady carries and undying love for shoes, there are conditions though. Conditions exist for a woman loving shoes and shoes, yes shoes have a condition to loving a woman.

(Laughing)

There are certain shoes that aren’t meant for specific people, depending on your body shape, weight and sense of style of course.

There are 4 types of body shapes and as you can see above, they are known as the apple, pear, and hourglass and rectangle shape. And since this is all about a girl’s best friend I’ll give you a few tips unto which shoes work for who and you will find that it is mostly not about body shape that restricts a person from the types of shoes, specifically heels they can wear but it is their posture and weight.

Looking at the apple body shape, it is easily noticeable that these types of women carry a lot of weight on their top body part and can be skinny on the lower part of their body.

A kind of heel that will work for you is one that isn’t too high because you need to find balance and still be able to walk up tall, straight and not put a lot of strain on your feet and knees.

The pear shaped women, is exactly how you picture a pear itself. These kinds of women are thin on their upper body and carry most of their weight on their lower body parts. Like the apple shaped women, they carrying more weight on one part of their body which can make walking in the famous stilettos very difficult.  A wedge or a pussy cat heel can be very comfortable and can work to your advantage.

 

These shoes are very sexy, in style especially the wedge. It has managed to book itself a seat in every trend that has come and gone with the times, so trust me you will never go wrong with at least two pair of wedges in your closet.

The ever so perfect hourglass body shape. Many women dream of this shape, even me but let’s face it; it’s never going to happen to all of us. Our different shapes and sizes are part of the many physical attributes that makes us different and unique as women, how would we ever appreciate a certain shape or size if we were all the same.

These kinds of woman have a big bust area and beautiful curves and so it’s pretty simple for them to wear any kind of heel but like I said in the beginning it all depends on their weight. A podiatrist has been reported to have said if a woman is over 40 kg in weight then that person should avoid wearing stilettos. In a perfect situation, one with an hourglass body shape can try almost any shoe on the market.

The rectangle body shape, is of a women who has little weight, they mostly gain weight on their thighs. They have no curves, medium bust area and a portable bum. If you are in shape and take good care of yourself, you too can wear any kind of shoe.

 

Bottomline is any kind of women can wear whatever shoe they want, all thats required is that you should be in shape, learn how to stand up straight and listen to your feet, otherwise your shoes wont like you much. Another important issue with ladies is the size, your shoes size.

Do not squeeze your foot into a shoe, this will cause a number of conplications, one being bunions.

Now ladies you do not want to find yourself suffering from bunions or else you will end up hating how your toes look in a flat shoe or sandal.

Look after your feet or else bunions will be the least of your problems. When it comes to heels, despite their length, you should never wear them for more than four hours.

Take along a pair of pumps, switch shoes along the way so that your feet can rest. These days there are flat shoes that can go with each and every outfit you have in your closet, huge shoe labels make beautiful pumps and sandals so you need not worry about wearing cheap shoes. They are of quality and promise to be worth every penny, even as a flat shoe.

f your one of those ladies who prefers not to wear a heel or pumps, then do not despair there are shoes for everyone. 

 

Try the sneakers or running shoes. They are awesome for women who are always on the move, but who also want to look good too.

The all star converse shoes are in style and can look fab in almost anything.

Do not be afraid to admit it to yourself when you know that heels aren’t your stuff, in the end all the people you will be trying to impress will still be unsatisfied with how you look and all the medical problems and bills will be your problem. Be you, rock those flat shoes.

On the picture below you will see one of Hollywood’s celebrities wearing adidas sneakers and looking very beautiful. Do not feel isolated and do not doubt yourself. If you are comfortable in it and it looks decent then go out there with your head held up high and paint the town red! 

 

Nearing my conclusion, I just had to show you three shoes that I find really unnecessary.

The lady gaga shoes, now really?!

I would really understand if you did not buy these shoes, I mean they do not look comfortable, they are expensive and they are lady gagas shoes, need I say more!

 

Now these shoes look like they were made by a dragon. OMG!

 

Now these look like they should be in a museum, not worn by any living thing, whether you are human or not. Is it even possible to walk in these? Do not get me wrong the design is awesome, a master piece but for walking I am not sure. I would exhibit this, I promise you, I would be very afraid to wear it!

 There is no excuse in the world for any kind of women to look like they are hated by their shoes or for shoes to look like they are suffering. Shoes are awesome and there are a variety of shoes for everyone. Enjoy them and take good care of them, they need you and you need them.

With that said, let’s go shoe shopping ladies!

 

 

open marriages

Open marriages

Today I was watching the Dr Phil show and he was talking about “open marriages” , yep I was shocked as well, I never thought that they existed I mean I was freaked when I heard about open relationships, I thought it was called cheating (laughing).

In this modern world I don’t know why I still get amazed when I hear such things; I mean anything is possible, right?!

On the Dr Phil show, a couple married for 6 years had decided to be in an open relationship rather that the traditional, monopolized marriage. Poor Dr Phil was baffled at the news, for the first time ever I saw him mumbling.

The husband’s name is Carl and his wife is called Kenya. Outside their marriage Carl was involved with a married woman, who was also in an open relationship, meaning that her husband knew about her infidelity but did not mind it at all, he said “my wife has enough love to give to me and other men, it would be selfish of me to keep it all to myself, when I can give other men the opportunity to feel how I feel and my wife the opportunity to be healed by the loved she gets from other men”.

Whaaattt!

I though this man was going insane and I wasn’t the only one, trust me.

This married woman is also dating another guy apart from Carl and though the husband accepts everything, he decided that he is fine with one woman and won’t date anyone outside the marriage.

Kenya is also dating someone outside her marriage with Carl, a guy which we know by the name of “Charles” but that isn’t his real name, and he prefers to be kept anonymous because he is going through a divorce with his wife, I guess she wasn’t psyched at the idea of open marriages as well.

On their way to the Dr Phil show, they had to be checked into a hotel because they were flown in from another city. The married couple decided to check into different rooms because Kenya decided to spend the whole trip with her lover Charles, Carl spent time with his girl friend whilst her husband had drinks at the bar.

When Dr Phil asked Carl what happens when Charles comes over to see Kenya and he happens to be around, very calmly Carl said “I will have a drink or two with Charles then I would go out for drinks to give them space or sleep in another room”.

Kenya’s mother in-law is puzzled by this and finds it completely absurd but she was mostly worried about how their actions would affect her grandchildren. Their two eldest children had accepted their parent’s actions and they find it amazing, they 13 years old boy said he would never date one girl, he liked what his father was doing.

Growing up under tradition I find this ridiculous, and being a born again Christian this is just too much. Like the great Dr Phil, I am speechless.

I mean how one comment on this? What do I say, who am I to judge (even though I already have). I can imagine how God feels right now, great disappointment.

I wrote about this so that I can share what I had seen on television, to give you guys knowledge on what had been happening around the world. It is up to you what you do with this information; I am very interested on hearing how this makes you feel!

Hope you enjoyed it though the article is short; honestly I am still trying to ingest this information.

“open marriage” really?!

 

 

 

 

new banks notes

Mandela notes

On Tuesday, the 7^th of November 2012 the new Mandela notes were released to the public after it was announced this year on the 22^nd anniversary of Mandela’s release after serving 27 years in prison.

No one can deny all that Madiba has achieve, being the first Black president of South Africa, the Nobel peace prize etc. We all know about his unselfish act of heroism, saving millions of South Africans, giving us equal rights and ending apartheid. Oh yes, no one can deny that.

Former president Nelson Mandela is seen as the one symbol of freedom, democracy and humans to people all over the world especially South Africans.

There have been roads, a bridge, Universities and building named after him. Mr Nelson Mandela even has a statue right in the middle of Sandton. Now to add on his achievements, he is also the first Black person to bear an image on South African bank notes.

Wow!

Many South Africans like myself do not understand why, why did they have to design the new notes with Nelson Mandela on it. We get it that they wanted to show tribute to Madiba, but why now?

To my surprise, the ANC also doesn’t agree with the design of the bank notes. President Jacob Zuma was reported to have said, “I asked Mandela to look to one side not straight ahead so that do not feel like he is looking at me, judging me”.

Personally I don’t like the design of the new bank notes, solely because it has Madiba’s face on it. Throughout the years he has been acknowledged, celebrated and adored by South Africans and it is enough. When the man sneezes the whole word goes into panic mode, like really, it’s as if he is a God.  There had been many people who had been locked up in prison, people who also risked their lives for freedom, students who were part of the war and died, and families who lost their fathers and sons during the whole. What I do not understand is why he has to be the only one notable.

Is it because the likes of Walter Sisulu have passed on?

What has the world come to isn’t it enough that we have “the Mandela challenge, Mandela road, Mandela Bay, Mandela drive, Mandela University, Mandela coins and Mandela museum.  How much more can we take, even Jesus was never celebrated like this.

How much more should we do to show tribute!

It is clear that the South African civil society is now represented by a retired politician.

I am nobody and besides this blog, I have no other means of having my opinions and views heard. I will just have to accept it and live with it silently. 

For all of you who haven’t heard about the new security features, they include a spark colour-changing ink, a clear image of Madiba, watermark image of him and embossed lines on the sides.

My work here is done!

 

 

 

 

 

    

2012 highlight

since i was born i have never had the opportunity to see the snow. Watching movies on television brought so many questions to my head, will i ever see the snow, will i ever feel it and does it even exist.

But that was up until this year. For once in a long time in South Africa there was snow and gosh 'PHILLIP was here!'.

It was an amazing experience, school stopped that day and everybody was outside, it felt like new years day. We were dancing around like small children, smiling, happy to be alive and it did not matter who you were and most importantly it didnt matter what colour your skin was, everyone was laughing together, hugging each other and some students managed to kiss each other in the snow. Now thats a deal breaker.

We all believed that there is no kiss that compares to a kiss in the rain but hey that was before we saw the snow!

i just wanted to share my most memorable day in the year 2012, but dont think its over yet. I still have a few weeks left to top it off.

Enjoy the video and no thats not me on the cover, its my bff!

your happily ever after

Being in a relationship these days isn’t easy; there are many expectations, less boundaries and too much compromising. In the olden days things were easier, of course looking at it today one would suggest that women were oppressed, taken advantage off and not really respected. Looking at the bigger picture as a youngster in the 21^st century, I have come to realise that though women were inferior and men were superior, it wasn’t bad at all.

Men always provided for their families, they knew their roles as parents and separation was scarce.

Looking at many different things that affect people’s relationship, things have become much more complicated. Now this term of everyone being free, equal and sharing things equally I believe it’s called 50/50 was with best intentions but facing the facts not everybody can agree with that statement looking at the end results.

Divorce rates have gone up dramatically compared to the past 10 years, many marriages are failing, why you ask? Well there are a number of reasons why people divorce. Firstly marriage has lost its value and many people do not understand their vows and people often get married quickly in a relationship without really knowing much about each other, they do not imagine their lives with this man/woman and well they aren’t being realistic about their expectations.

We watch a lot of chick flicks, we grew up watching fairy tales, our parents grew up being taught to respect a man and never go against their wishes ( remember that marriages in the olden days, women were not allowed to do anything without their husbands approval as the man was the sole provider ) now because of that they do not know what to teach you, how to prepare you for marriage , their ways and opinions will differ from yours because you now believe in an equal 50/50 kind of relationship.  In the end we find movies, television programmes and rnb songs teaching us the importance of marriage, how to treat your husband/wife and what to expect.

What we forget is that those movies were written by someone, its purpose being to entertain us and give us an imagination. Chick flicks always end with a happy ending, the marriage is always rosy and it looks like a wonderful thing. Like the classic Cinderella, you start off with problems, hardships and pain but in the end it’s the happily ever after, where your Prince charming comes to your rescue and gives you this wonderful life and that’s the end.

Now I am not saying marriage is not good, but being a Black child growing up in the streets of Soweto, I came to realise that the movie does not end with a happily ever after, there is more to come.

These days men cheat on their beloved wives, leave their families to go support some other family, we find men who abuse their spouses, women who end up killing their husbands and going to jail for murder, mothers giving up their children because they can’t support them anymore (the father ran away and left them with nothing), we find mothers who run away with their lovers and leave the men to take care of the children, parents who are too busy building their careers at the expense of their children. Things have fallen out of place, all because people have forgotten their roles and in my opinion that is some of the factors that contribute to marriages not having their happily ever after.

But where does this all start?

Well, it starts at the core; all these problems start with our upbringings and the values that were instilled in us as children. They become visible firstly at school. The way one treats one from the opposite sex says a lot on what our parents taught us at home, but the most visible place is in their relationships, when they start dating specifically in high school.

Music videos, movies and the media play a huge role in the values instilled in a person at their teens.

In today’s society everything is quick-quick, parents aren’t around often or they don’t make time to really talk to their children about real issues, actually most parents literally avoid having such conversations with their children; they do not know where to start. They too have become toddlers in this fast pace world engulfed by their lives, routines and the fast changing lifestyles. They want to catch up, live their dreams and make money to be able to afford “the life”. They like children in a candy store.

Where does this leave the child, who is there to teach the values and give them advice?

Yes, the media, movies and hip hop artists.

Why blame the youngster when all they care about is sex, girls, boys, trends, music and being popular (that doesn’t involve being a nerd at school). Children start disrespecting their parents, parents give in and life continues as a roller coaster. There are only a few teens and 20years old+ children who still have dreams and actually believe in them, only a few want to be anything but famous. It seems as though dignity, respect and being different has gone out of fashion and the latest trend has become being famous, making money, getting laid “sex” and living some else’s life.

The sad thing is everybody gets caught up in this mess. Innocent girls who just want to feel accepted, boys who want to fit in, that poor child who is trying to live the good life, a young girl selling her body to feed her family, the young boy who dropped out of school to support his family, the wealthy girl/boy who is always smiling on the outside but is dying inside because they witness their father beating their mother every night. Anybody gets caught up in this fairy tale world, to some it’s their ticket to the good life and to some it’s a safe haven.

Now do you see why I am saying these are some reasons that contribute to unhealthy relationships, leading to divorce?

Being taken advantage off and being exposed to abuse as a teen can either build you or break you. Many people lack respect for their partners in a relationship, they depend on themselves as a result when things get tough in a relationship and it feels as though the ship is sinking, people prefer to get off the ship before trying to fix it. They give up and their defence modes come on and because they are so independent, pride takes over and nobody is willing to ask for forgiveness or a chance.

Some people weren’t meant to be together in the first place, they were forcing things and trying their luck, only to find themselves signing divorce papers.

Marriage is anything but rosy, the happily ever after concept does not exist in real life. “You won’t be in love with your partner each and every day”, a wise women once said. She continued to say “but if you and your partner have a good foundation in a marriage that consists of Agape love, respect and faith then you have nothing to fear for it will all fall into place again”. That would be the kind of love that is not based on lust or beauty but by pure love.

In the end I am going to say, marriage is a blessing from God but only if you get married to the right person. Do not rush, take precautions, be realistic, love yourself first, forgive yourself for whatever mistakes you did in the past, have a clear mind of what you want, know the person your marrying (make sure he is on the same page as you and is deserving of you) and believe in yourself.

It is okay to want a fairy tale wedding and to dream of a perfect marriage but remember BE REALISTIC, problems await you after your HAPPILY EVER AFTER!

churches

Churches

 

The term “church” symbolizes faith, safety and hope. It’s not only my opinion that church is a place that brings hope to a wounded heart, safety to a suspicious heart and faith to a heart full of doubt. Many people believe in it, despite their race or status in the community.

Today we will be solely focussing on the black person and how their faith has been wrenched from the main and original idea when it was first established. 

Looking back in history during the times of struggle, you will see that to Africans, church was seen as a place that brought them peace within and it was their only hope to being freed from oppression. Church to them was a divergence, helped them escape their realities, unlike in today’s times where we find that television has replaced the church method of escape from reality to most people especially the youth.

The main idea behind the establishment of church I believe was to bring people closer to God, here I am referring to the times after Jesus Christ was born and sacrificed.

Church was meant to be a place where people came in to worship God in different ways; either by music, instruments, prayer or just helping with cleaning. People would go out to preach the word of God, come back to the church to have those people accept Jesus Christ as their lord and saviour by being baptised in the church, then they be trained and equipped with the necessary skills that will help them be good, loyal and faithful Christians and later on continue the work of preaching the word of God to those on the streets. In church you would find family, a job and everything else. It was a place full of love, people who feared the lord and those willing to lend a helping hand without expecting anything back in return.

That in my own opinion is what church was supposed to be doing, their main objective.

As we look at Christianity particularly, we would find that there has been a major shift in the methods and running’s of church in these times compared to the olden days of our grandparents and those before them.

It seems as though church has become a battle ground, where the children of God are constantly at war with themselves, I mean the flesh versus the spirit. Flesh refers to our bodily needs and wants, the spirit is that which is what God wants and needs from us, that thing in us that is always seeking to do God’s will, that is referred to as our spirit form.

To further explain myself ill use two churches as examples and before I continue I would like to make it clear that these example are not facts but they are stereotypes that majority have accepted as truth.

The Grace Bible church. This church is well-known and it is said to have many celebrities attending, whilst the rest of the people are wealthy black people. As an outsider, I find the stereotype very convincing. You find that the church members (majority) drive really expensive cars, celebrities are in and out, they wear expensive clothes and it has been said from one young person who attends there that they are constantly competing with outfits and if you wear the same outfit more that once you are considered poor and aren’t given much attention.

I do not know that for a fact but it can be easily believable. Another example is Universal Church. It too holds quite a reputation as it has been surrounded by a lot of scandals. They say that their pastors are healers and can heal every illness and it’s a great church. Most people would disagree though; they say that the pastors are fakes, the church is a money making business and that they employ people to pretend to be sick so that it seems as though they are healed. Now that isn’t the first church which has been accused of being fake, one pastor known as Pastor Mboro has been accused to be fake as well.

I used these churches as examples because they are very well-known and that makes it easy to get you (the readers) to get what I am talking about.

Now in the beginning I gave a brief description of how I understood the original idea behind “church” and when looking at how things operate these days a huge difference is noticed immediately.

It seems as though churches operate with money these days, their main objective is money. Yes it is true that God did speak of offerings in the bible but it wasn’t to make his people more and more poor but it’s just a way of showing God that we appreciate him and that we do not put him after our assets.   But I think it is safe to say that things have gone too far.

We have churches becoming an arena for fashion parade, car shows and banks. They are using the poor and vulnerable to make money instead of empowering them.

I mean if all these stereotypes about our churches are true then we are surely doomed. If you need to look a certain way, drive a certain car and live a certain lifestyle in order to fit into a certain church, it is a problem. People are suffering in their leaders hands (government) and though it is understandable that even pastors and church leaders are human and can be vulnerable to the things of this world, who should we trust to lead us then? Everything seems to revolve around money and acts that go against the commandments of our creator.

Who is our true enemy? Who will help us get to level of piety and help us maintain that level?

There was a song I was taught by my grandma, a song that was sung in the streets long ago.

“Bankubile  ko kerekeng, bare nna ke nwa jwala, kganthe jwala ase sebe, sebe sona ke tjhelete”

It means “they threw me out of church because I drink alcohol, but alcohol isn’t a sin, money is the sin”

Which is true, you need money to buy alcohol and alcohol just makes you drunk whereas money can cause a person to kill, commit suicide and evidently stop fearing God.

It is because of the lifestyles portrayed on the media that everything has lost its balance. The concept of technology in general was a great one but it turned out to be a curse as it has been the number one suspect to many sinful acts

The bible has predicted these things happening, when evil will rule earth and mankind will be lost. This all happens just before Jesus Christ returns.

I believe the time is nearing and I am scared because I fear that he will find us in a worse state than what we are today, I fear that this just a beginning.

Let’s face it, the state of our churches is terrible and our only hope might as well be prayer.